Friday, November 29, 2013

Looking for...Myself?

Déjà vu. I’m seeing a post-twittersphere Queer as Folk, which is, essentially, what I expected and what I’ll enjoy watching. I love juicy, “where is my life going” shows, a la Girls, Sex and the City, thirtysomething (which I’ve never seen but I’m sure I’d love), etc. This is probably because I have no idea where my life is going. I’m 25, still living at home with Mom and Dad, being lazy, and sinking deeper and deeper into the petulant five-year-old I wish I wasn’t meant to be.

Still, watching these trailers makes me nervous (though everything makes me nervous; let’s get real, people). Why? I’m pretty sure it boils down to all the pretty people. Where are the fat gays? The BALDING gays? The gays with hair all over their backs? They DO exist – me, honey, and I shave when I have to go to the beach because I’m insecure. HELLO?  I know that this is such dead-horse-beaten discussion, but I’m a product of a shiny, waxy, muscly magazine culture that tells me I should loathe myself, and most of the time, I do, so ultimately, I’m not saying let’s nix the pretty people (I mean, I also fall victim and contribute to society's train of thought, so bring Papa his shiny, waxy, and muscly men), but can we at least expand our horizons and employ a little variety? Can we redefine beauty by exposing mass culture to something different and, lo and behold, real? The reality is, cancelling my gym membership was the best decision I’ve made in the last six months, and I need you to tell me this, over and over and over again, so I believe it.

Okay. I feel so cliché for writing all of the above, but that’s it, for now…


1 comment:

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