Sunday, November 11, 2012

When in Doubt, Pout; The Plight of Male Popstars

Once, this was Calvin Harris.
I'm going to go ahead & say it people: it is simply unbelievable what men need to do to become POP stars these days . It's almost as if they were, dare I say it... WOMEN.  I mean of ALL THINGS, really.

Perhaps my favorite example is Calvin Harris. Calvin, who once reveled his lovable dorkyness, has sexed it up immensely since the international mainstream success of We Found Love.  Of course, he looks great & should be lauded endlessly for his transformation blablablabla... because what is more valuable than a sexy celebrity?  Answer: NOTHING.  But still, alas... sometimes I find myself missing the Calvin of yesteryear... pineapple on his head & all...

But before I wander too far astray: without further ado, I present some of the world's most cherished male POP stars who, by no coincidence, also happen to be the world's best pouters.

Calvin Harris has definitely practiced perfecting his pout since 2008.  Thumbs up: you're famous!

Drake: Pout-extraordinaire.

Example was fortunate enough to born with a natural, pronounced pout, so he probably didn't have to attend the corporate-sponsored pout-practice sessions.

Trey Songz is also gifted at the art of pouting (it's all about the prominence of the lower lip).

British POP duo Hurts have mastered the "serious" pout, which is sexy enough for mass media distribution but also scary enough to intimidate others at a board meeting.  Particular narrowing of the eyes is required for this one. Careful not to squint your eyes too much: obstruction of vision may occur.

Oh no! Not Liam Gallagher too?!  This has gone too far, people.

Forgive me, everyone.  It's not easy being a thinking person with a POP music blog.  Sometimes I truly cannot resist the urge to mock it all.